I have not posted anything on my blog in months. The main reason being two-fold, one I am just not that good of a writer. It’s not that I don’t have the desire or anything to say, but from a technical stand point im just not that good mathematic’s was always my strong point and reason number two and this is a big one I am a introverted and have a hard time putting my self out there for others and see and criticise. I do not know why I am this way maybe it’s because I was an only child and growing up it was just me and my mother for the most part and I got used to the solitude I just am not really sure about it at all.
As I try to and work through this and get away from it I have got my self were I am in charge of several people in my chosen field and I have to interact with then on an hour by hour basis, but then again I think it’s more that I am getting comfortable with this set group of people so it doesn’t bother me as much. I often wonder why I am this way for my mother and father were not like this at all in fact they were quite the opposite and very out going and social people. Even at family functions I would be off to the side all by my self ether reading or drawing and these are people I have grown up with and known all my life. I think the worse part for me is the face to face inter action of just me and one other person that I do not know at all, like when a stranger would come up to you and ask you if you knew where something was located at. It feels as my gut is being torn to shred’s.
Will I ever be able to over come this on my own and is it even possible to get past it even with help and yes that is another fear of mine getting help for this from a total stranger yeah I’m going to do that sure. I am married and I do have a son and he is now 5 years old and is playing T-ball wich is hard for me but for the most part I don’t have to talk to the people there. My son relay enjoys being there with every one and talking and playing with all his little friends and he just soaks up all the attention he gets from every one. I am so very happy that he is like his mother in that aspect. As for me some days it is very hard for me as a left-handed only child that is an introvert, but I keep trying every day and this Is another attempt to reach out and tell people I am here and I want to be a part of life.